I'm trying to find a balance...

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 08:18:30 GMT

These are from one of those, You Know You're From Minnesota When...

These are the ones that cracked me up cause they're so true...
The weather is usually 80% of your conversation.

When you say "down south" you're referring to Iowa.

75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota.

"Perkins" was the only hangout option in high school.

You assume when you say "The Cities" people know where you're talking about.

You can list all the "-dales."

People from other states love to hear you say words with "o"s in them.

In a conversation you've heard someone say "yah sure, you betcha" and you didn't laugh.

You hate the movie "Fargo" but realize you and your entire family have that same accent.

You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.

You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly.

Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car.

The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks.

You're a loyal Target shopper.

You've frozen your tongue on a metal handrail before.

You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside in March, but you bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60. - so true.

You have gone trick-or-treating in 3 feet of snow.

You've not only walked across a lake, you've driven across one.

Everyone you know has a cabin or, at least, access to one.

You consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for "the cities" because it provides instant urban renewal.

You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months.

Your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February.

Your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival."

The temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.

You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire East Coast.

You have refused to buy something because it's too "spendy."

You know that everyone has a city preference -- Minneapolis or St. Paul.

You can honestly claim Germanic / Scandinavian ancestors, and have been known to say "ya" instead of "yes"

Haha, oh boy. Mad love to the MN.

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 00:21:18 GMT

Fuck them all.

we're hopelessly blissful and blind to all we are.

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 09:29:19 GMT

Gah, life sucks so badly right now. I hate being back home. I really need to get myself a new job. My mom paid for bartending school, so I suppose that's my plan for now. Hopefully I like it. What a waste of money otherwise. I'm sure I will, I just don't know how good I'll be at it. I'm a retard and can't memorize anything. Meh. We'll see how it goes. I just need to get off my lazy ass and actually go now.

I think I'm going to buy the new Sum 41 cd. I don't know why, but I've just never really gotten into the band. I've never not liked them, I just never bought any of their cds for some reason. They're really amazing live. They put on such a great show and they're awesome guys. Stevo cracks me up, oh man. And seriously, how cute is Deryck?

I love this song.

I should sleep. I overslept yesterday and was late to work. I slept until 3:30 in the afternoon. That is NOT right. I'm so sick of not being able to fall asleep, and then sleeping until the middle of the afternoon. I need to figure out a way to fix that cause it's seriously not cool anymore.

I wanna go to Texas. Money sucks.

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 22:52:13 GMT

Sigh.

These last few days have been some of the most fun days of my life. I was able to get to know some people a lot better than I thought I'd get the chance to do. All four days were such a fucking blast. Green Day last night was the perfect way to kind of end this tiny vacation away from my reality. Coming home early Wednesday morning from Chicago made me so depressed. I wish we could've gone to Grand Rapids...hell, to the last bunch of dates. I miss everyone so much!

Good fucking times.

damn credit card.

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:12:30 GMT

Oh, and may I mention that I need $217 by November 26th and I don't have a penny. Who wants to help me out? I know you all do. Come on. Don't be shy.

somewhere inside of me i know that this is a test

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 08:53:24 GMT

I hardly update this thing anymore, but then again, did I ever really update a lot to begin with? I never find myself with anything good to say. I've never been good at writing anything meaningful. Somewhere between my brain and my fingertips, the thoughts I have and feelings I want to express, are lost. I suppose I'm just doomed to live inside my head for the rest of my life.

I'm going to Chicago on Friday to see Morrissey and I couldn't be more excited about it. This show is taking place at the best time in my life. I know that I am going to return from this trip feeling 10x better and wishing I never had to leave. There's just something about that man and his music that I can't explain...I wish I had someone to go with who shared my ~~obsession~~ love, but you can't always get everything you want I guess. I'm just happy I'm going and I wouldn't miss out on this opportunity for anything. Sigh.

My life just seems to be getting progressively worse with each and every day. Maybe not so much worse, but...different? It seems like there isn't a thing in my life these days that has remained stable enough for me to hold on to. I am, however, thankful for the few things/people that have been there to help me through all of this. Without them I don't know if I would be as calm and collected as I am, and there really isn't much of either of those anymore. It's so amazing how in the span of one year, a few months actually, every single thing in your life can change. Every damn thing. I've never felt as lost and helpless as I do now. I don't know what's going on, where I'm going, what's going to happen, and it's scary. It's so scary. I've had the same life for 19 years and having all of it taken away so fast is leaving me so completely lost. I've taken everything about the life I live for granted. All of it.

I guess I just have to realize that everything happens for a reason, and that all of this will only make me a stronger person. Sometimes optimism is the most difficult thing in the entire world. As long as I have my music, my friends, and my faith...I'll be okay...

Sleep has become a foreign word...

♥

is anybody listening?

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 04:30:52 GMT

Taking Back Sunday/Matchbook Romance/FOB is tomorrow. I'm glad I get to go. I was worried I wouldn't be able to and I probably would've cried. The show is going to be wonderful. I need all of these shows coming up. I need these things to look forward to.

I can't stop listening to Good Charlotte and the Used. AMAZING.

I'm trying SO hard to be optimistic. I'm trying so hard to tell myself that everything is okay and will be okay. Everything in my life is just getting continuously more fucked with every day. This year has definitely been the hardest and most eventful of my life. I'm just trying not to let it all get to me, and I don't want others to really know just how bad things are. No one does. I've always been really good at keeping things to myself. I guess I just don't want to whine about my problems when there are other people that have their own.

I'm SO frustrated with certain things and I know I shouldn't be. It used to be a LOT worse and I should be happy with where I am, but I just can't be. I wish I could be. Why isn't it working for me?

Blah.

Why can't I just be happy?

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 22:38:54 GMT

Oh my goodness...what the hell did I do last night?

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 14:49:53 GMT

I just heard "Here In Your Bedroom" by Goldfinger on the radio.

That was fucking weird.

FRIENDS ONLY

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 23:17:29 GMT

Peter Panda says this journal is friends only bitches! Comment if you want to be added. You know how I do.